He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
