hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
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