I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
tell me about the fingering
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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