i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
