wat bout pragnant strippers??
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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