talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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