If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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