You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
