I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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