I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
