Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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