I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i would one night stand the shit outta him
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
