Pants 0. Shit 1.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize