I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
