i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
