Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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