At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize