that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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