i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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