bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize