i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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