38 yer olds are good kisserssss
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
