he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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