that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
