I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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