bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
