please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
