Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
