covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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