It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
