conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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