It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
