I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
