Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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