So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
