i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
