dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
