Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
