so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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