Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
be right there i have to get my cape
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
