I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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