does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
