I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
