why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
