You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
