Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
