Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
