I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Houston, we have a blender
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
