Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
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