A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
