I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
