Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize