You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
