our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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