Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
