i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
