I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
