Have you finally orgasmed yet?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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