life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize