and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
