i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
