Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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