When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
