I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
