do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
