You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
