She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
