I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
