I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
