you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
