Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i believe in u and ur pee
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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