So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
