i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
