I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
