I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
