Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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