I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
