btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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