my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
you would pick up someone in the library
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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