Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
