he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
