just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
